Undoing the knots of life

For the last few days I have been struggling with my mental hunger. My brain is telling me I want to eat, my body is feeling no such urge, hence the dilemma. I continue to tell myself the mantras I have learned such as "mindful eating", "junk in, junk out," "you had surgery, you alerted your body, pay attention." Today, I am on my second sugar-free, caffeine-free, skinny mocha from Starbucks with extra ice just to help me. I also have been battling the "food head game" as I like to call it. The inner voice speaking to me about eating too much, too little, not the right things, not the wrong things, etc. Needless to say, the last few days have not been the best in terms of mental calmness when it comes to my eating. I notice that when I go through these phases, I have to be particularly careful when eating - I will forget or not pay attention to what I have consumed or tasted. It freaks me out - but I know this is all part of the battle I have waged for most of my life. The head v. body battle. Prior to my surgery, the head always won with the body greatly suffering. This time, I have to remind myself, the body and mind must win - together. During my second walk of the day (moments ago), I believe I figured out what could be the root of these issues - I share this because I think I am not alone in dealing with these types of issues. My dysfunctional relationship with food relates directly to my emotions. When I am dealing with difficult or uncomfortable situations or emotions, I turn to food. Right now, I am in the midst of an uncomfortable emotional situation, and I am just plain anxious about it. Hence, the food. My hope is this epiphany will allow me to deal with these emotions in a more healthy way - like exercise. If anyone has other suggestions, please send them my way. Overall, I must remember that this is a marathon, not a sprint. I am not on a diet, it is a way of life. A way of life that must include the ability to overcome old habits and behaviors. Easy to say, hard to do, but definitely do-able - I guess this explains the artwork on this blog, "the undoer of knots."